on leaving.

my landlord just called a few minutes ago to inform me that she was reading through my paperwork and wanted to know why i was moving out in may. realizing that i could have given her the smart-ass answer (“because i fucking feel like it!”), several possible responses played through my mind:

1. …because the exorbitant amount that you charge in rent is hardly worth the square footage and hassle of having this apartment in the first place
2. …because you can’t seem to do anything about the recent rash of car break-ins that seem to occur every friday and saturday evening
3. …because my monthly mortgage will be less than your rent
4. …because my upstairs neighbor is a leadfoot and i get tired of hearing his kanye west n.w.a neyo and the intimate details of his sex life
5. …because i’m tired of the colorful notes that you put in my door when i’m not home about everything from cigarette butts to cookies in the lobby that i could give a shit less about

however i just gave her the most plausible answer and it was “i’ve purchased a house.” april 24th or bust, baby. i’m outta here!

annoyed.

i need to stop buying bootleg movies from my nail shop. “cadillac records” was all fucked up and pausing every five minutes. will take back to nguyen tomorrow. hrrrmpf.

(and that copy of “medea goes to jail” ain’t worth shit either)

just finished watching david cronenberg’s crash. strange, weird movie. and i’m shocked to say this because i normally like cronenberg movies (a history of violence, eastern promises, the fly) but “crash” was sooooo bad. the characters seemed detached and bored, and to make it worse most of them hardly speak above a whisper. even countless the sex scenes were dumb and not worth watching after 20 minutes. even more unsavory about this flick is the legions of its internet fans who swear that this is the best movie ever produced on a reel.

tomorrow i’ll probably see the new medea movie and look at this condo that i am thinking about buying. i’m super excited.

exhausted.

my exhaustion cannot be quantified into words right now. battling some kind of cough/congestion in my chest and general work fatigue.

i couldn’t even finish the treadmill at the gym today because i was so beat.

i have no appetite and i just fixed a veggie burger.

i'm jumping out the window with this one.

____’s Progress - Language Arts Class

____, ___ [xxxx.xxxx@xxxxx.com]

Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2009 3:43 PM

Hi Ms. W,

I was checking on the progress of ___ in your class - attitude and work.  I did see were he has a 69/F for his grade so far for 3rd quarter.  Is there anything ____ can do to improve this grade?

Yes, I actually get emails like this…

This is the fourth time this lady has emailed me about her son’s grade this year. Every single time I’ve quietly gathered the missing work and submitted it to her son to complete. FOUR TIMES. I am not gathering his assignments again, I refuse.

We are well into the third quarter of school year now. So she asks me what he can do to bring his F to a passing grade. Let’s see, there are several options here:

1. Uhh…turn in his work.
2. Pay attention in class
3. Take away the $250 PS3 you bought him for Christmas
4. Beat his ass

Whatever you do, I refuse to budge. If you can’t make your child do what they’re supposed to, how do you expect me to work miracles?

[DONE]

day/off.

today we got one inch of snow and they called off school. i didn’t go in to work today. me and my son went to the laundromat and then picked out a cake for his upcoming birthday (feb.13th). we went to mcdonalds. we’ve been here ever since, just chillin out and spending time together. i wish i had more days like this. to lounge around and do nothing. to look outside the window and talk about how snow is a result of the cold and the rain, a part of the water cycle. i finished running with scissors today. i’m not sure of the next book i am going to read. i need to read something at all times, just to keep my mind occupied. away from mischief.

this fucking sucks.

latenight and sleep-filled, but i can’t sleep because i’m so disappointed in myself. i did my taxes tonight and my return is not nearly what i expected to get back. yeah it’s something, but it’s not enough to repay 1/4 of the bills i’ve amassed over the past year and a half. what the fuck am i going to do? my lease is up in may and i can’t do another year here. i’d love to get a house, but with what? i gotta pay these bills off, and i am the only one to blame for allowing them to get to this point.

i need to put some stuff on ebay immediately. some of my coach bags and vera bradley shit. my walk-in closet is so full of stuff i can’t store it. overflowing, on floors, piles and piles and piles of stuff. i have to purge myself.